Friday, 18 August 2017

Can you save my heavy dirty soul?

you know what? i am likable.

people actually like me. that thought never came into my head because i dont even like myself and i am always anxious.

hmm. what a strange feeling, you know, knowing that people actually like you, they like your presence, they like talking to you, they think that youre funny, hmm... 🤔🤔

and the fact that i dont socialize makes it even hmm..

i dont do lunch during workhours because i dont like the smell of ayam goreng absorbing into my shirt and in my hair, so i either go home and sleep OR i tapau and eat my lunch alone in the office in front of my computer.

and i dont do after-work activities sports or lepak2 or wayang or mamak. i just go straight home and hate everybody who's driving on the same road that i am.

hmmm..

on another note, i am so fucking tired of commuting from sg buloh to sg besi. jem macam gilaaaaa and Sg Besi is so fucking faaaarrrrr. *sigh

and on another another note, my boss's boss kinda offered my husband a placement in the company that i work now. i thought he was being nice but the more i ponder upon it the more i think that he is trying to pin me down here, in this company, forever. hmm i dont want that. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

i am always angry these days and being the ungrateful little shit that i always am. i should be happy arent i? at least i dont marry someone ugly.

Sent from my iPhone